Home Is For The Heartless

To the girl who will always have my heart,


I told you that i will try to tell you just how much i love you babe,
well this is me trying. Thursday my whole world crashed in front
of my eyes,but i grabbed a hold of the only thing in my world that
i know. Your heart. That’s the only thing i wanna keep out of
anything in this world,let it all fall. I’ll stand there holding you,
kissing you. Last night when i was at my friends baby,i fell
asleep but woke up and looked at the blank ceiling realizing
they can try all they want babe. They will never take my love
away:).Babe, i can look in your eyes and my pain just goes
away, i don’t how but it does.

We both used to be on drugs,we were different
people then but we still have the same feelings <3.
You have changed me from the heroin addict,
to the hard working,boyfriend you know me as
now. Honestly,who takes transportation for
a hour and 30 mins for one person and it could
only be for a hour? Only me baby,it’s all worth it<3

So the past week, a lot of things have gone wrong. A kid that lets say doesn’t no the meaning of “NO” decided to tell my girlfriend’s mom that we have been dating for the last 5 months. He has repeatedly tried to hit on my girlfriend and then got jealous and did what he knew would ruin her life and mine. My girlfriend’s mom doesn’t approve of our relationship for whatever unknown reason,she didn’t know we’ve been dating for 6 months she thinks we broke up 5 months ago. She now knows the truth and is trying to make our relationship hell,by blocking my number and not letting her out. That doesn’t even come to close to making me think “oh well we should break up now”,i will fight and get around things because i love this girl with all my heart.

Another thing is,i’ve had strep for 3 and a half weeks now with 5 days being treated, so my body feels like i’ve been through a war and i am very sick. I get random stab pains in my sides,im constantly cold then hot and cold again. All of this hitting me at this time is taking its toll on me and my girlfriend which has caused us to fight a lot. It breaks my heart when we fight,it’s the last thing i ever want to do. I don’t want to ever lose her because of a stupid fight. I don’t want to lose her ever.

Before keighty i was in love with another girl and got hurt really bad,basically it was “Yeah i cheated on you and hes ten times better then you so go fuck yourself”. I never thought i was gonna love again until keighty,we both taught each other how to love again and i’ve never loved a girl THIS much. One thing i wish wouldn’t happen would be when she does something that pisses me off she throws it off like its nothing big at all. She would rather not talk about it then realize why its pisses me off. All of this has happened in a matter of a week,and i hope things get better,the only good thing going for me right now is my girlfriend.

Dear Dreams,

You give me the best insight on things,things i don’t realize when

im awake. Lately you always have this girl in my dreams,shes familiar

because i see her in most of my days. She’s the girl i love so much,but

you have me mumble things i try to keep to myself to her on the phone.

That i don’t like so much,but i can deal with it (:. I believe dreams have

meanings we can’t explain,dreams are definitely mystery’s most of the time.

Thankyouforgivingmeinsight,

-Raymond

Dear Mom,

     Lets start this out by saying,i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you,

i know I’ve hurt you a lot in the past but ill make you proud i promise. You’ve always tried to keep me on the right path,and i am so glad i have a mom like you. I can always come to you for advice on anything. I promise ill come back to visit when i move out.

Thank you for everything you do,

-Raymond

I could do anything as long as its with you babe,we were the only ones that were soaking wet and flirting non stop at LOVE park. I couldn’t care less about everyone else,the world shut down and all i could see was you and your smile that lightens up my world. I loved it when you were shivering on the way back,it gave me a reason to wrap you up in my arms. A reason to hold you.

You might not know what im thinking about you exactly,

just know my heart beats for you.

This movie is one of my favorites,its very well played out. And has a pretty

good plot,even though this genre of movies has been played out.

Must see.

” When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me,you had my heart forever.”

My life has came to the point where i fall asleep just to avoid certain things,i want to wake up and everything will be okay. I want my life to return to normal,the only thing i have anymore is a few friends and my girlfriend. She’s been amazing through all of this.

I want things to change,

now

“I fear a world without the sun,The day the sun never rose, cold swept the world.”

Dear Keighty,

This is supposed to be about my crush,but you more then a crush.
You are the girl i give my heart to every day,trusting you to not
damage or break it. When i first met you at the Alesana show,
i knew i wanted to talk to you more. We hit it off almost immediately,
flirting and smiling it was so unreal. I would never have thought,something
so simple would turn into something so great. In a sense you gave
me the strength to make a few key changes in my life.

I love you,always<3

-Raymond